Tuesday, November 6, 2007

Thank you oh dear little baby Jesus by Patrick

I want to take this moment to thank society for not forcing me to take part in the formal annointing of the womb known as "baby showers"......That being said I regretfully would like to announce my official resignation from "manhood". Apparently at some point in the recent past I agreed to attending a "couples shower" . I can only assume that I was asked during the middle of aVikings game or an important episode of Family Guy or Seinfeld. I do not tell you this as an excuse but as a warning to the complete male population. We have always known that "they" like to "strike" during these most vulnerable times and for that reason I should have been more cautious. I only have myself to blame and I make a promise to the rest of the male race that I will do my best to assure that an attrocity like this will never happen again.

In case you have not been able to grasp the magnitude of this enormous collapse in concentration & judgement on my part please note the following activities that I am apparently in store for this weekend.
- design a "onesie"??
- guess how many diapers are located in a basket?????
- guess how "round" my wife is by cutting a string?????????????????
- Gossip about [Insert name of some woman that works with one of my wife's friends]....ex:"can you believe what a bitch[Insert same name] is?"!!!!

Consider yourselves warned!!!

One more thing...I would like to point out that Brenda spends a lot of time working on this site(I personally witnessed her try to get the pics below in the right order for about 10 minutes and heard no less than 6 "curse" words, most of which seemed to be directed at me which didn't seem to be very nice, so make sure you post comments on the site so I know that my tears and dejected soul aren't all for not).

5 comments:

hoki16 said...

Family guy is a killer! Hope you survive the couples shower. If not, it was nice knowing you!!
Cousin Sarah

Jo said...

Pat, you really should write more often. I appreciate hearing the other side of the pregnancy journey and a ton of laughs!! (I barely got through this one!!!)

Love
Jo

bethjennissen said...

Pat you are too funny. I can definately tell you and your brother (my hubby) are related that is for sure! {"Annointing of the womb" is a common term in our house too!)

Beth

Mark said...

I had a pretty good laugh on that one Pat!

Ryan said...

Couples Shower??!!? Wow....just wow!

The english language lacks the capacity to describe the depths of my disappointment. Enjoy the mimosa's and vegetarian quiche, and whatever else you eat at those things. Smoke a cigar and drink some scotch when you get home from the shower. I hear that cancels out some of the effects.